Paul & Libby’s Place

I got this email the other day from my father-in-law.  He frequently sends out articles and stories that he stumbles across in his daily life and along with it is always his take on it and words of wisdom.  Now Ill be honest (and please Ed don’t be offended or take this as my request for removal off of the mailing list), I USUALLY skim through them. I typically receive them as I am starting my work day and have every intention of going home that night to give it the time and thought deserved…..but I forget! And just as all the others, this one arrived on my way to work.  Now because I am hip and with it and I would feel lost without it…..I am connected to email 24/7.  I opened this one up and right away I was intrigued. The subject of the email was “Health care and auto insurance”. I guess because I work in the health care industry I felt the need to read on.

The message of his email was about how all Americans are required to pay monthly for auto insurance and get little coverage, meaning it only covers accidents, etc. not the maintenance portion such as oil changes, new tires and so on. On the other hand, all Americans are NOT required to have health insurance (which does cover everything).  He then went on to write about how years ago our ancestors got sick, broke a leg, or (insert ailment here) without insurance and managed in most cases to come out of the situation just fine.  They relied on their faith in God to get them through. Cheaper and more reliable if you ask me! I will refrain from going off on my disgust for the insurance industry right now.

Now this got me thinking throughout the day. But Ill come back to that. I need to fill you in on a few things that have been happening in our lives over the past year and some change.

Long story short…….After Paul and I got married we started trying to have a kid. I will save you from the intimate details and just call it the “good ol fashioned way”.  Now knowing my medical history I knew there was a chance that I wouldn’t be able to conceive a child.  After a few months of trying on our own we sought assistance from my OBGYN in the form of a drug called Clomid. This is typically the first thing doctors will try in any woman with fertility issues. After probably 6 or 7 months of that and no results we went to a fertility specialist.

After meeting with her it was decided I would undergo some exploratory procedures to make sure things were functioning and operational. Did those….everything looked fine. We then proceeded with IUI (basically artificial insemination) which required me giving myself shots of drugs, multiple blood draws, inserting a catheter into places I wont mention and waiting…….LOTS of waiting.

Approximately 2 weeks after my first insemination I received a call during work hours (not recommended) that it didnt work. It was a Wednesday.  That call wouldnt have been so bad if I hadnt pretty much convinced myself that it WAS going to work. I was so convinced that I had even scheduled that following Friday off to start shopping for the babies room. Of all the phone calls I’ve ever gotten that was by far one of my least favorites.  I managed to make it through the rest of that day, barely.  Its safe to say the wind had been knocked out of my sails. If I could have crawled into a dark hole I would have. Its nothing I can put into words, so I wont even try.

At this point, I didn’t want to go through it again and I was ready to give up. But after some time and talks with my husband, we decided to give it one more try. More shots, more blood draws, more catheters, more waiting. I had asked them this time to please wait until after I was off work to call me. But again, on a Wednesday I got that phone call (at work). I had a voice mail to call them. By this time I already knew the answer but I called anyways. “I’m sorry, its negative” were the words I heard.  I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t expecting a different answer. So we were done for the year as far as medical assistance went to get pregnant. That was always our plan- IUI this year, IVF next year.

Fast forward to the email. When I read it I instantly knew what our future held. We were giving it all to God. I presented Paul with my thoughts at dinner that night. I explained to him my take on the message of Ed’s email.  Its like this; for thousands of years women have become pregnant the way God intended.

1 man + 1 woman + 1 candlelit dinner + 1 glass of wine (or Dt. Pepsi) = baby

NOT

1 woman + 1 medical professional + 1 sterile room + 1 catheter = baby

I basically summed it up as if it isn’t happening naturally then there is a reason for that. I know that before I was ever born he had my life planned. He knew years before I did that I would fall in love with my best friend and marry him. I believe he knows where my path is leading now and if it includes a child of my own. I pray that it does, but I have also accepted it if it doesn’t. Only time will tell.

Have you been wondering where we disappeared too? Nowhere in particular.

Sorry there hasn’t been a lot of content for you all to read lately. Life got busy. But life is slowing down now and I promise soon I will be back with a post sharing what we have been up too.

Can you believe Paul and I just celebrated our 2nd anniversary? Seems like just yesterday we were in the hot Kansas sun on the farm saying “I do”. It was a quiet celebration with a lunch and movie and a couple days off. Ive been blessed with a husband who is as down to earth and low key as I am when it comes to stuff like this…….besides we are saving up and planning something special for our 5th! So the sacrifice now is well worth it!

So as I said before, I promise to make a detailed post soon! Stay tuned and keep checking back…….

This past Friday, November 21st, I had an unusual experience but one that I’d had an interest in for a long time.  I went with my sister-in-law Megan to a gross anatomy lab.  She is in medical school right now and was able to bring along one guest for this trip.  Since my wife, understandably, didn’t want to go, I quickly jumped at the opportunity.

Parker College of Chiropractic in Dallas is one of the few gross anatomy labs of its kind in the state (Meg can post a correction here for this or anything else I get wrong).  It is a state of the art facility that accepts cadaver donations from anyone.  After the study of the body is done, it is cremated and disposed of per the family’s wishes – either sent back to the family or kept by the facility for interment in a memorial to be created in the next few years.  Respect of the body is one of their foundational tenants.  In fact, after a student has finished their 8 months of study, they are told the name of the body they’ve been working on along with the age, what the person did in life, and a few details about them.  The reason for this is they want the student to understand the gift that this person has given them in education.

I mentioned this is a state of the art facility.  Some explanation from their website

…the College purchased 50 of the latest state-of-the-art cadaver immersion tables. These tables hold the preserved cadavers so when elevated, fluids are drained back into the tank, making the cadaver exceptionally easy to work on. Because of the heavy insulation and master crafting of these tanks, there is virtually no unpleasant odor in the lab when the tanks are closed.

The thing about the odor is true.  You can’t smell anything until the cadavers are brought up and you get close.  More on that in a minute.  We started off with an orientation and then an organ presentation.  We were shown lungs, livers, hearts, an esophagus, and brains.  Later, we were able to hold and inspect these organs.  The most fascinating thing we learned – if you were to spread out your lungs in pancake fashion as thin as you could get them – they would cover a tennis court (and you would probably be dead).  Amazing.  One of the most astonishing things we saw were two brains together – one was a relatively normal brain that had some divets in it from dementia.  Aside from that, it looked and felt normal.  Then, there was half of a brain that had been decimated by Alzheimers.  It was astonishing.  The consistency was that of ground beef that you had purchased from the grocery store…loose and fragile.

We then spent the rest of the time looking at and exploring 4 bodies…3 of them were older males and females who had died from cancer.  The 4th was also a cancer victim but a 49 year old male.  The skin and facial features were still on the cadavers…something that Meg and I didn’t expect until we noticed the nose, lips, and eyelashes of one of the females (face down) that we had been exploring.  There is certainly a funky odor when the cadavers are brought up.  It’s a mix of formaldehyde and…I don’t even know how else to describe it.  There were a couple of times when I had to step away quickly and get a couple of fresh breaths but for the most part, I was surprised how quickly I got used to the smell.  Overall, I was just an outsider and watched amazed as the lab technicians asked for people to identify internal body parts and took questions.  I couldn’t bring myself to ask the only question I had – Do you have a contingency plan for a zombie uprising?

One thing that surprised me was that the experience didn’t bother me at all.  I know everyone knows this but when you begin exploring a cadaver, you have to put yourself in the mindset that this is just meat.  That’s it.  No one is home.  They have passed over to a better place and are happy to be out of these fragile, diseased shells.  Aside from the initial – and very brief – shock of “Wow…these are dead bodies”, I approached the experience as a physician.  I marveled at the strength of the carotid artery and jugular veins as I ran my fingers along them and gently tugged at them.  I was amazed by the vast and intricate array of veins and tendons running along the arms.  And I stared in wonderment and shock at a mass of cancer in the abdominal cavity of one cadaver.  It literally – at least in this state – looks like a clump of dirt.

During the lab experience and immediately after, I kept thinking of when David proclaimed in the Psalms “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.  Indeed.

I’ve been trying to write this post in my head for weeks now. I am usually good about expressing things with words, but for some reason this has been a difficult task for me.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother, and for as long as I can remember I knew it might not be in the cards for me. At a very young age I was diagnosed with a medical condition called Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Back then it was not as common, but as years have passed I read more and more about it and the women affected by it. Two of the major effects from this illness are obesity and infertility.

If you know me, you know my history with weight issues. While PCOS was the biggest culprit with my weight, it wasn’t the only contributor. I could have had better eating habits. But the past is the past.

Before I had my gastric bypass surgery I had never tried to have children. I was in a relationship with a person I knew I did not want children with, so it wasn’t until I married my soul mate that my fears were confirmed. When Paul and I met I was upfront and honest with him regarding my situation. And while he could have chosen to keep looking for a woman who could without a doubt give him a child, he accepted the situation for what it was. We had many discussions on how we wanted to handle children, specifically when we wanted them. I wanted them immediately, he wanted to wait a year. Fortunately (or unfortunately) we both got our wish. The trying started immediately and month after month, there was nothing.

In April of this year we embarked on the first portion of our journey. For those of you who don’t know what its like to have fertility issues, it can be easy to fix or progress to very difficult, invasive, expensive, exhausting procedures. So far its only been mildly invasive and not too expensive. In September we finally had a breakthrough with the treatment I had been getting and while he haven’t hit the jackpot yet…..we are closer.

But as much as Paul and I want to have a child of our own, we are realistic and know that our plans are not necessarily God’s plans. We have set a time limit for ourselves to pursue other options because without one its too emotionally draining. We also understand that there are plenty of unwanted children in the world, so adoption would be a possibility to look at if our other options do not work.

I’m writing this post for two (well three) reasons:

1) It was time for a new post!!!

2) If you are a prayer, I ask that you add Paul and I to the list. I know there are worse things happening to people everywhere everyday. I know that somewhere there is a man, woman, child who doesn’t have a home or a meal. I know I would be able keep on living for a long time if I never had my own child, but right now at this moment I want this.

3) Be sure and tell your children often how grateful you are for them. If they are there with you, give them an extra long hug or a kiss.

I would If I could!

No we didn’t just get back from our trip….its just taken me this long to sit down and write about it! We had a wonderful time. San Antonio is a beautiful place with lots to do, and that was just within walking distance.

Our trip did start VERY early on Saturday so we could make it in time to Snow’s BBQ (see the previous post) to enjoy some tasty treats. The bbq was great, especially the brisket, but let me tell you that was some of the BEST potato salad I had ever eaten. If we still didnt have plenty of miles to drive, and maybe had a cooler I would have been bringing some of that home! Delish.

Once we filled up our bellies we were back on the road. We made it to San Antonio, and only got a little lost. Then we found where we were supposed to be (we thought) and had to try finding the hotel again. We were staying at the Hyatt on the Riverwalk. To our surprise there was ANOTHER Hyatt that we had almost pulled into when I said “I dont think this is it.” Who puts 2 Hyatt’s less than 1 mile away from each other?? Anyway with all the roads being one-ways……well……you know how it goes. We finally arrived at the correct Hyatt (also on the Riverwalk), checked into our BEAUTIFUL suite, threw our things down and off we went exploring.

We did a little shopping along the Riverwalk and stopped by the Alamo, but didnt go in because we were intimidated by the line.

*Side note* When I originally thought of our wedding date, I did it more for the fact that a lot of the dates in our lives revolve around the 7th. Ill admit the whole 07/07/07 was cool too but what isn’t very cool is having an anniversary near a major holiday. Places and things will always be crowded, this we have accepted.

Dinner on Saturday evening can be summed up in one word……exhausting. Paul and I both had gotten numerous comments about Mi Tierra Cafe. The food and pastries were out this world, “they can cure cancer” someone told me. I kid of course, but feedback like this was close. Paul and I walked in and I knew in that moment my husband went from happy to very, very sad. The line to just get a number seemed to be a mile long. Knowing that Paul isn’t one who likes to wait I turned to him and said “well?!?!” and after promising him alcohol, we stuck it out. Towards the end of our 2 hour wait, delusion set in. We were standing in a room with candles lit and Virgin Mary’s talking to us on the walls. By the time my shiny little vibrating plastic thing went off I was just ready for bed. We made it to our table, asked our server what his favorites were, got our food, commented on how great it wasn’t, paid our bill and left all in about 15 minutes. Ok again I kid, but in the scheme of things thats what it seemed like in my head. We both admit we probably ordered the wrong thing and under different circumstances the food probably would have been out of this world…..we just wont ever wait 2 hours for it again.

Sunday was a better day…..no lines, no waiting. Well just a little. We got up, went and had some breakfast cooked by some questionable people, and decided to wait it out for the Alamo. The line was long again, but moved very quickly. Paul and I opted for the audio tour, so earbuds in and off we went for an hour and a half walking and listening, taking in all the history. All in all a great time at the Alamo.

After that it was lunch time. We headed back to the Riverwalk. We lucked out and found a wonderful place called Casa Rio. Delicious food, great service. We had to wait a little, but for a chance to have lunch on the river it was worth it. While we were sitting there waiting for the food, we both commented on how incredibly dirty the river was. Big pieces of trash, dead animals, and I think maybe a body were banging up along the sides. But we didnt dwell on it. In fact we embraced it by going on a tour of the river after lunch. For a small fee and about 50 minutes of your time you can take a boat ride equipped with a tour guide and hear all about how the Riverwalk came to be. Very enjoyable!

Casa Rio from the tour boat

The day concluded with more walking and shopping. After dinner we headed back to the hotel for an early night in of relaxing. We did use that opportunity to enjoy the free amenity that came with our room which was champagne and strawberries

After stopping at a German restaurant for breakfast on Monday we headed back home. We timed everything perfectly and hit no rush hour traffic. What a superb ending to a superb weekend.

I cant wait to see where next year’s anniversary will take us.

We love you all!

Libby

This is a bonus picture of Paul.  He had an idea as soon as he saw this statue (in front of our hotel) but it was a little tall for the effect he wanted.  I think you’ll get the basic idea.

We can’t believe it’s been a year already.  A year ago on July 7th, mine and Libby’s lives changed and merged forever.  We’ve enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to many many years together.  We appreciate all of our friends and family and hope that all of you have a wonderful holiday weekend.

In the morning, we are headed to San Antonio for a 2 night stay on the Riverwalk (we’ll be in a hotel, not literally on the Riverwalk).  We will not have access to email during this time and will not answer our phones.  You are welcome to call us on the 7th as we will be travelling home then (Libby has to work Tuesday).

One funny note…we are leaving very very early (probably 4:30) because we are stopping at Snow’s BBQ in Lexington for the best barbecue in Texas (according to Texas Monthly in June).  This is a very unique place.  They are only open on Saturdays from 8am until the meat runs out which will be about 9:45am tomorrow (according to someone with the restaurant).  Since we want to avoid a long line and get to San Antonio early, we plan to basically have BBQ for breakfast.  I know that sounds weird if not gross to some…but you have to understand that you only feel that way because you’ve eaten the same thing for breakfast all of your life so only a very narrow selection of food is “acceptable”.  It’s hardwired in.  I guarantee you that any hesitation we have about eating BBQ that early will vanish with the first bite.  Yes, I had this conversation with Libby already.  She knows that I’m weird and is up for the adventure.

We are also looking forward to eating at Mi Tierra Cafe in San Antonio.  We’ve had several people rave about this place to us (one of them is Mexican).  I am personally looking forward to a beef tongue breakfast taco.  Yes, I’ve been watching too much of Bizarre Foods.

Aside from that, we’re going to be adventuresome and just enjoy the city with no itinerary.

Love you all,

Paul

Well we are home from our TN trip. Paul and I had a WONDERFUL time visiting his sister and her family and other family friends. It is always nice to get away for awhile. Definitely one of the best birthdays so far!!!

Thank you all for the kind words and wonderful wishes for a great celebration of my birth. All of you that responded mean the world to me and I am grateful, lucky, honored (I could go on and on) to have each and every one of you in my life. Also a special thanks to my wonderful husband for sending out the word so you all could leave your comments. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life.

Unfortunately, I will have no pictures to share of the trip. After I FINALLY remembered to bring the camera along…..the batteries were dead! Go figure. But some highlights included lots of Yahtzee, fabulous food prepared by Amy, playing ball with Nathan and teaching him to catch it in his mouth, and shopping until I dropped with Abby, Emma and Ellie.

I cant wait for the next time we are all together!