Paul & Libby’s Place

I’ve been trying to write this post in my head for weeks now. I am usually good about expressing things with words, but for some reason this has been a difficult task for me.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother, and for as long as I can remember I knew it might not be in the cards for me. At a very young age I was diagnosed with a medical condition called Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Back then it was not as common, but as years have passed I read more and more about it and the women affected by it. Two of the major effects from this illness are obesity and infertility.

If you know me, you know my history with weight issues. While PCOS was the biggest culprit with my weight, it wasn’t the only contributor. I could have had better eating habits. But the past is the past.

Before I had my gastric bypass surgery I had never tried to have children. I was in a relationship with a person I knew I did not want children with, so it wasn’t until I married my soul mate that my fears were confirmed. When Paul and I met I was upfront and honest with him regarding my situation. And while he could have chosen to keep looking for a woman who could without a doubt give him a child, he accepted the situation for what it was. We had many discussions on how we wanted to handle children, specifically when we wanted them. I wanted them immediately, he wanted to wait a year. Fortunately (or unfortunately) we both got our wish. The trying started immediately and month after month, there was nothing.

In April of this year we embarked on the first portion of our journey. For those of you who don’t know what its like to have fertility issues, it can be easy to fix or progress to very difficult, invasive, expensive, exhausting procedures. So far its only been mildly invasive and not too expensive. In September we finally had a breakthrough with the treatment I had been getting and while he haven’t hit the jackpot yet…..we are closer.

But as much as Paul and I want to have a child of our own, we are realistic and know that our plans are not necessarily God’s plans. We have set a time limit for ourselves to pursue other options because without one its too emotionally draining. We also understand that there are plenty of unwanted children in the world, so adoption would be a possibility to look at if our other options do not work.

I’m writing this post for two (well three) reasons:

1) It was time for a new post!!!

2) If you are a prayer, I ask that you add Paul and I to the list. I know there are worse things happening to people everywhere everyday. I know that somewhere there is a man, woman, child who doesn’t have a home or a meal. I know I would be able keep on living for a long time if I never had my own child, but right now at this moment I want this.

3) Be sure and tell your children often how grateful you are for them. If they are there with you, give them an extra long hug or a kiss.

I would If I could!